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24. ´ÙÀ½ ±ÛÀÇ ¿äÁö·Î °¡Àå ÀûÀýÇÑ °ÍÀº?
In our efforts to be the good child, the uncomplaining employee, or the cooperative patient, many of us fall into the trap of trying to please people by going along with whatever they want us to do. At times, we lose track of our own boundaries and needs, and the cost of this could be our life, both symbolically and literally. When we are unable to set healthy limits, it causes distress in our relationships. But when we learn to say no to what we don¡¯t feel like doing in order to say yes to our true self, we feel empowered, and our relationships with others improve. So don¡¯t be afraid to say no. Try to catch yourself in the moment and use your true voice to say what you really want to say.
¨ç ³°üÀ» ±Øº¹ÇÒ ¶§ ¼ºÃë°¨ÀÌ »ý±ä´Ù.
¨è Ç×»ó ŸÀÎÀÇ ÀÔÀåÀ» ¸ÕÀú °í·ÁÇØ¾ß ÇÑ´Ù.
¨é ÀÚ½ÅÀÌ ¿øÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â ÀÏÀº °ÅÀýÇÒ ÇÊ¿ä°¡ ÀÖ´Ù.
¨ê ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ ÀÇ°ßÀ» °íÁýÇÏ¸é ´ëÀÎ °ü°è°¡ ¾ÇȵȴÙ.
¨ë Á¦¾ÈÀ» ½Â³«Çϱâ Àü¿¡´Â ±× Àǵµ¸¦ ÆľÇÇØ¾ß ÇÑ´Ù.
1. ³»¿ëÇ®ÀÌ
ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ ÇÑ°è¿Í ¿å±¸¸¦ ÀØ°í ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ¿ì¸®°¡ Çϱ⸦ ¿øÇÏ´Â °Í¿¡ µ¿Á¶ÇÏ¿© ±×µéÀ» ±â»Ú°Ô ÇÏ·Á°í ¾Ö¾²´Ù º¸¸é »î¿¡ ¹®Á¦°¡ »ý±â¹Ç·Î ÇÏ°í ½ÍÁö ¾ÊÀº ÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇؼ °ÅÀýÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ» ¹è¿ì´Â °ÍÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇÏ´Ù´Â ³»¿ëÀÇ ±ÛÀÌ´Ù. µû¶ó¼ ¨éÀÌ ±ÛÀÇ ¿äÁö·Î °¡Àå ÀûÀýÇÔ.
2. ±¸¹®Çؼ³
¨ç [In our efforts to be the good child, the uncomplaining employee, or the cooperative patient, many of us fall into the trap of trying to please people by going along with whatever they want us to do.] ¡ØIn our efforts to be~: ~ÇÏ·Á°í ³ë·ÂÇÒ ¶§(³ë·Â¼Ó¿¡) ¡Øthe uncomplaining employee:ºÒÆòÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀº Á÷¿ø ¡Øthe cooperative patient:ÇùÁ¶ÀûÀΠȯÀÚ ¡Øfall into the trap of trying to please people:»ç¶÷µéÀ» ±â»Ú°Ô ÇÏ·Á°í ¾Ö¾²´Â ÇÔÁ¤¿¡ ºüÁö´Ù. ¡Øfall into the trap of: ~ÇÏ´Â ÇÔÁ¤¿¡ ºüÁö´Ù. ¡Øby going along with~:~¿¡ µ¿Á¶ÇÔÀ¸·Î½á.(by ~ing: ~ÇÔÀ¸·Î½á, go along with: ~¿¡ µ¿ÀÇÇÏ´Ù, ~¿¡ µ¿Á¶ÇÏ´Ù) ¡Øwhatever they want us to do: ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ¿ì¸®°¡ Çϱ⸦ ¿øÇÏ´Â °ÍÀº ¹«¾ùÀ̵çÁö(whatever:º¹ÇÕ°ü°è´ë¸í»ç:¹«¾ùÀ̵çÁö) ¢ÑÂøÇÑ ÀÚ³à, ºÒÆòÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â Á÷¿ø, ÇùÁ¶ÀûÀΠȯÀÚ°¡ µÇ·Á°í ³ë·ÂÇÒ ¶§, ¸¹Àº À̵éÀº (´Ù¸¥) »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ¿ì¸®°¡ Çϱ⸦ ¹Ù¶ó´Â °ÍÀº ¹«¾ùÀÌµç µ¿Á¶ÇÔÀ¸·Î½á ±×µéÀ» ±â»Ú°Ô ÇÏ·Á°í ¾Ö¾²´Â ÇÔÁ¤¿¡ ºüÁø´Ù.
¨è [At times, we lose track of our own boundaries and needs, and the cost of this could be our life, both symbolically and literally.] ¡Øat times:¶§¶§·Î(sometimes, from time to time, now and then, now and again, occasionally) ¡Ølose track of:~À» ³õÄ¡´Ù. ~À» Àؾî¹ö¸®´Ù. ¡Øwe lose track of our own boundaries and needs:¿ì¸®´Â ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ ¿µ¿ª°ú ¿å±¸¸¦ Àؾî¹ö¸°´Ù. ¡Øboundary:°æ°è, ¿µ¿ª ¡Øneed:¿å±¸, ÇÊ¿ä ¡Øthe cost of this:ÀÌ°Í¿¡ ´ë°¡ ¡Øboth symbolically literally:»ó¡ÀûÀ¸·Î ±×¸®°í ¸» ±×´ë·Î cf)literature:¹®ÇÐ, literary:¹®ÇÐÀÇ, literate:ÀÐ°í ¾µ¼ö ÀÖ´Â, illiterate:¹®¸ÍÀÇ, ÀÐ°í ¾µ¼ö ¾ø´Â, computer illiterate:ÄĸÍ, literal:¹®ÀÚ ±×´ë·ÎÀÇ) ¢Ñ¶§¶§·Î ¿ì¸®´Â ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ ¿µ¿ª°ú ¿å±¸¸¦ Àؾî¹ö¸®´Âµ¥, ÀÌ·¯ÇÑ °Í¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ´ë°¡´Â »ó¡ÀûÀ¸·Î, ±×¸®°í ¸» ±×´ë·Î ¿ì¸®ÀÇ »îÀÌ µÉ °ÍÀÌ´Ù.
¨é [When we are unable to set healthy limits, it causes distress in our relationships.] ¡Øbe unable to:~ÇÒ ¼ö ¾ø´Ù. ¡Øset healthy limits:°ÇÀüÇÑ ÇѰ踦 ¼³Á¤ÇÏ´Ù. ¡Ødistress:°íÅë ¢Ñ°ÇÀüÇÑ ÇѰ踦 ¼³Á¤ÇÒ ¼ö ¾øÀ» ¶§, ±×°ÍÀº ¿ì¸®ÀÇ °ü°è¿¡ °íÅëÀ» ¾ß±âÇÑ´Ù.
¨ê [But when we learn to say no to what we don¡¯t feel like doing in order to say yes to our true self, we feel empowered, and our relationships with others improve.] ¡Øwhen we learn to say no:¿ì¸®°¡ ¡°¾Æ´Ï¡±¶ó°í ¸»ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ» ¹è¿ï ¶§ ¡Øto what we don¡¯t feel like doing:¿ì¸®°¡ ÇÏ°í ½ÍÁö ¾ÊÀº °Í(ÀÏ)¿¡ ´ëÇØ(what:¼±Æ÷°ü: ~ÇÏ´Â °Í, feel like ~ing: ~ÇÏ°í ½Í¾î ÇÏ´Ù.) ¡Øin order to say yes to our true self:¿ì¸®ÀÇ ÁøÁ¤ÇÑ Àھƿ¡ ´ëÇØ ¡°¿¹¡±¶ó°í ¸»Çϱâ À§ÇÏ¿© ¡Øtrue self:ÁøÁ¤ÇÑ ÀÚ¾Æ ¡Øin order to: ~Çϱâ À§ÇÏ¿©(so as to, with a view to ~ing, for the purpose of, so that~may) ¡Øwe feel empowered:¿ì¸®´Â ÀÚÀ²±ÇÀÌ ÀÖ´Ù°í ´À³¤´Ù. ¡Øempowered:ÀÚ°ÝÀ» ºÎ¿©¹ÞÀº(empower:ÀÚ°ÝÀ» ÁÖ´Ù, ±ÇÇÑÀ» ÁÖ´Ù) ¡Øour relationships with others:´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷°úÀÇ °ü°è ¢ÑÇÏÁö¸¸ ¿ì¸®°¡ ÁøÁ¤ÇÑ Àھƿ¡ ´ëÇØ ¡®¿¹¡¯¶ó°í ¸»Çϱâ À§ÇÏ¿© ÇÏ°í ½ÍÁö ¾ÊÀº ÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇØ ¡®¾Æ´Ï¿À¡¯¶ó°í ¸»ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ» ¹è¿ì°Ô µÈ´Ù¸é, Àڽſ¡°Ô ÀÚÀ²±ÇÀÌ ÀÖ´Ù°í ´À³¢°Ô µÇ¸ç ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷µé°úÀÇ °ü°è´Â ÁÁ¾ÆÁø´Ù.
¨ë [So don¡¯t be afraid to say no. Try to catch yourself in the moment and use your true voice to say what you really want to say.] ¡Øbe afraid to + µ¿¿ø: ~À» µÎ·Á¿öÇÏ´Ù(be afraid of~ing) ¡ØTry to catch yourself in the moment:¼ø°£¿¡ ÇÏ´ø ¸»À» ±ÞÈ÷ ¸ØÃß·Á ³ë·ÂÇÏ´Ù. ¡Øcatch oneself:ÇÏ´ø ¸»(ÀÏ)À» °©Àڱ⠸ØÃß´Ù . ¡Øuse your true voice:´ç½ÅÀÇ Áø½ÇµÈ ¸ñ¼Ò¸®¸¦ »ç¿ëÇ϶ó ¡Øto say what you really want to say: ´ç½ÅÀÌ Á¤¸»·Î ¸»ÇÏ°í ½ÍÀº °ÍÀ» ¸»Çϱâ À§ÇØ ¢Ñ±×·¯¹Ç·Î ¡®¾Æ´Ï¿À¡¯¶ó°í ¸»ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ» µÎ·Á¿öÇÏÁö ¸¶¶ó. ±× ¼ø°£¿¡ ÇÏ´ø ¸»À» ±ÞÈ÷ ¸ØÃß°í Á¤¸» ¸»ÇÏ°í ½ÍÀº °ÍÀ» ¸»ÇÏ´Â Áø½ÇÇÑ ¸ñ¼Ò¸®¸¦ ³»±â À§ÇØ ¾Ö¾²¶ó.
3.´Ü¾îÁ¤¸®
*uncomplaining:ºÒÆòÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â *employee:Á÷¿ø *cooperative:ÇùÁ¶ÀûÀÎ, Çùµ¿ÀÇ *fall into the trap of :~ÇÏ´Â ÇÔÁ¤¿¡ ºüÁö´Ù[¿À·ù¸¦ ¹üÇÏ´Ù] *lose track of:~À» ³õÄ¡´Ù. ~À» Àؾî¹ö¸®´Ù. *boundary:¿µ¿ª, °æ°è *symbolically:»ó¡ÀûÀ¸·Î *literally:¹®ÀÚ ±×´ë·Î *distress:°íÅë,ºñź *feel like ~ing: ~ÇÏ°í ½Í´Ù. *empowered:ÀÚ°ÝÀ» ºÎ¿©¹ÞÀº(empower:ÀÚ°ÝÀ» ÁÖ´Ù, ±ÇÇÑÀ» ÁÖ´Ù) *catch oneself:ÇÏ´ø ¸»(ÀÏ)À» °©Àڱ⠸ØÃß´Ù. *go along with ~¿¡ µ¿Á¶ÇÏ´Ù, Âù¼ºÇÏ´Ù.
4.Àü¹®Çؼ®
ÂøÇÑ ÀÚ³à, ºÒÆòÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â Á÷¿ø, ÇùÁ¶ÀûÀΠȯÀÚ°¡ µÇ·Á°í ³ë·ÂÇÒ ¶§, ¸¹Àº À̵éÀº (´Ù¸¥) »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ¿ì¸®°¡ Çϱ⸦ ¹Ù¶ó´Â °ÍÀº ¹«¾ùÀÌµç µ¿Á¶ÇÔÀ¸·Î½á ±×µéÀ» ±â»Ú°Ô ÇÏ·Á°í ¾Ö¾²´Â ÇÔÁ¤¿¡ ºüÁø´Ù. ¶§¶§·Î ¿ì¸®´Â ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ ¿µ¿ª°ú ¿å±¸¸¦ Àؾî¹ö¸®´Âµ¥, ÀÌ·¯ÇÑ °Í¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ´ë°¡´Â »ó¡ÀûÀ¸·Î, ±×¸®°í ¸» ±×´ë·Î ¿ì¸®ÀÇ »îÀÌ µÉ °ÍÀÌ´Ù. °ÇÀüÇÑ ÇѰ踦 ¼³Á¤ÇÒ ¼ö ¾øÀ» ¶§, ±×°ÍÀº ¿ì¸®ÀÇ °ü°è¿¡ °íÅëÀ» ¾ß±âÇÑ´Ù. ÇÏÁö¸¸ ¿ì¸®°¡ ÁøÁ¤ÇÑ Àھƿ¡ ´ëÇØ ¡®¿¹¡¯¶ó°í ¸»Çϱâ À§ÇÏ¿© ÇÏ°í ½ÍÁö ¾ÊÀº ÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇØ ¡®¾Æ´Ï¿À¡¯¶ó°í ¸»ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ» ¹è¿ì°Ô µÈ´Ù¸é, Àڽſ¡°Ô ÀÚÀ²±ÇÀÌ ÀÖ´Ù°í ´À³¢°Ô µÇ¸ç ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷µé°úÀÇ °ü°è´Â ÁÁ¾ÆÁø´Ù. ±×·¯¹Ç·Î ¡®¾Æ´Ï¿À¡¯¶ó°í ¸»ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ» µÎ·Á¿öÇÏÁö ¸¶¶ó. ±× ¼ø°£¿¡ ÇÏ´ø ¸»À» ±ÞÈ÷ ¸ØÃß°í Á¤¸» ¸»ÇÏ°í ½ÍÀº °ÍÀ» ¸»ÇÏ´Â Áø½ÇÇÑ ¸ñ¼Ò¸®¸¦ ³»±â À§ÇØ ¾Ö¾²¶ó.
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